When I first read Tara Mohr’s articles about what playing big means to her, I was immediately taken by her message. Her kind of ‘big’ is for those of us who want to be successful while maintaining integrity, who have no hunger for power and who have no desire to be successful at the expense of others. Here are her tips for creating a bigger life.
Tara has recently released a book, also called Playing Big, which was primarily written for women, but it will equally resonate with men who find themselves experiencing moments of self-doubt. I’ve chosen a couple of Tara’s pearls of wisdom below – if you like these, you’ll love the book. It’s one I have thoroughly enjoyed reading over the summer break.
Quieten your inner critic
Most of us find the voice of our inner critic alive and well on a daily (and sometimes even hourly) basis. Having an inner critic is normal, but it’s important to recognise that this voice is not all of you – it’s simply one part. Rather than trying to rid yourself of your inner critic (its role is to protect you from harm), your goal should be to notice it and name it as the critic. The important thing is that you don’t let those thoughts escalate to a point where they stop you from pursuing the path that will make you happiest.
Find your inner wisdom
As well as our inner critic, we also have the voice of inner wisdom. Tara calls this your ‘inner mentor’. It’s the intuitive, wise voice that can guide you through difficult decisions and support you when you’re feeling fearful or vulnerable. It’s the part of you to connect with when you’re experiencing imposter syndrome. Instead of believing your inner critic and fuelling self-doubt, use your wise inner voice to remind you that despite your imperfection, you’re still capable of great things.
A simple way to make a connection with your inner guide, is through meditation. You’ll find that once you’re familiar with this voice, you can connect with that wisdom whenever you need it.
Come out of hiding
We use a number of different strategies to stay hidden. Like the voice of our inner critic, hiding strategies supposedly keep us safe, but in reality they provide excuses not to step out of our comfort zone and they limit us from taking a leap into a more inspiring and fulfilling future. Once you can identify and acknowledge the ways in which you ‘hide’, this awareness will give you the opportunity to be proactive about pursuing your goals.