|
|
TURNING TWENTY
This month's newsletter has been written by Elsa James (Kate's daughter).
'You can't always get what you want, But if you try sometimes, well you just
might find, You get what you need.' Rolling Stones
In less than a month I will be 20. To me this feels pretty significant.
Whilst 18 seemed like a milestone, it was for far different reasons. I was
writing lists of everywhere I would drive once I had my licence; it went for
pages. I was excited that you'd no longer have to squint to see the
resemblance between my I.D photo and me. I was obsessing over finishing
school.
Entering a new decade holds much deeper significance. The last year and a
half has been a rollercoaster to say the least. Many doors have closed.
There was the end of a long-standing relationship, which took me until
recently to finally lay to rest. Friends have drifted. School finished and
with it I almost fell in a heap. Yet each has taught me a lesson. Learn when
to say goodbye, nothing will take away how special it once was. Friends
don't have to last a lifetime to leave memories that do. Sometimes the
things we long for aren't what will ultimately make us happy.
I'm still not quite sure what the answer to happiness is. But I'm now brave
enough to close my eyes and ask: am I happy? If I feel that knot in my
stomach or notice my chest tighten, I know I'm not. This is a question I now
ask myself often. Yet for some time I had a 'fix-it' attitude. I thought
everything had to stay in place and if I glossed over it enough, the damage
would clear. I now know that change is sometimes the only answer. For me it
was ending a relationship that I didn't want to let go of. It was leaving a
uni course that was quashing my spirit. Maybe it doesn't always mean walking
away. But I now think that learning to admit unhappiness is far braver than
glossing.
I was used to being in control. The moment you realise something major has
to change doesn't usually leave you with a great sense of control. Over the
last 18 months, I have felt that sense of truly not knowing what's around
the corner many times. At first it was an unknown and scary sensation, I'm
now learning to embrace it.
The thing is, my high school years had been relatively sheltered. Everything
felt planned and simple. I loved the predictability and didn't feel burdened
by looming questions of happiness. Leaving school, I anticipated uni would
be the same walk in the park I had become so used to. Yet I was thrown into
a world of accounting and business computing. I longed to be immersed in
adjectives and similes again. This was not my stomping ground. I look back
now and even the sound of that word makes me feel queasy. Who would want a
life of predictability? Yet it has taken me until now to feel comfortable
and happy with change.
Since quitting the things that didn't feel right, I have felt so much
lighter. Funnily enough I got into my dream course, which I hadn't got the
marks for straight out of school. It felt ironic to say the least. I still
don't know what's around the corner and I kinda like it that way. So far,
having no plan is going perfectly to plan!
So here's to a year and a half of learning to be brave, embracing change,
live music, tears, nights out until dawn, best friends, sunsets, skinny
boys, skinnier jeans, laughter, novels and dreams. I wouldn't change any of
it for the world.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE
I picked up a flu virus over a week ago and it came as a real shock - it
completely stopped me in my tracks. It's the first time I've ever had the
flu and after ten days, I'm still unable to do very much. I have a renewed
appreciation for my health and an enormous sense of gratitude to be
surrounded by loving, supportive family and friends.
I was lucky enough to be spending the week with my parents when I got sick
so I was nurtured and cared for by them before coming home. Chris, the girls
and my sister have picked up where mum and dad left off so I have been able
to just rest.
Elsa, in her thoughtful way, offered to write the newsletter for me. It was
a pleasure to accept and a real gift to see the world through the eyes of a
twenty year old. I hope you enjoy it.
'When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current
that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the
decision.'
From 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho
We are happy for you
to reproduce our articles as long as they remain intact and
contain the author's details as follows:
'Kate James is a work life balance coach, writer and
speaker. She works with professional people who want to
enhance their quality of life by making the right career and
life choices. You can find Kate at
www.totalbalance.com.au.'
|
|
|
|
