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“You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis
“I cannot tell you any spiritual truth that deep within you don’t know already. All I can do is remind you of what you have forgotten.” Eckhart Tolle
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Mark Twain⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you haven't yet defined your ‘why’ (or in other words, your life purpose), the following steps might help. ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - Write a brief summary of your life story, paying particular attention to the events that have shaped you most (both positive and negative).⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - Clarify your personal values.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - Make a note of your unique strengths.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - Consider how you currently make a difference in other people's lives.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ - Write a letter to your twenty-year-old self, offering any advice or wisdom.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Reflect on each of these elements and think about how you can bring all of this information together. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Are there silver linings from the challenges you've faced?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ How could you use your innate gifts and your life experience to make a contribution to others?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What impact would you like to make in your lifetime? And to which people?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you feel called to tackle big issues such as advocating for world change or becoming an activist in one or more areas, be brave enough to include those things – even if you're not sure how you'll do that yet. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But it's equally useful to remember that your purpose doesn't need to be lofty or world-changing. It might be as simple as, ‘being a considerate friend', 'making beautiful art', 'bringing humour into people's lives' or 'being a leader who brings out the best in others'. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The important thing is that it's right for you. ✨⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Image credit: Nathan Dumlao, Unsplash
If you’ve ever dreamt of doing something bold or creative and your inner voice tells you you’re not the kind of person who writes or paints or takes dance classes (or that you don’t have time for such pursuits), read Anne Lamott. Her beautiful writing has reminded me that living fully includes taking leaps into territory that may not feel like my own. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I’ve discovered that being creative is the kind of “play” that all of us need, regardless of our natural ability. It’s not the output that matters. ✨
“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Andre Gide ✨
“Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, it just means we stop carrying the energy of the past into the present.” Yung Pueblo⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Everything in your story has shaped you but the less perfect moments don't need to define you. ✨
This week I've been writing about how we can keep our relationships harmonious and on my reading list was Dr Dan Siegel’s book, Mindsight.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ While it's not a relationship book as such, Dan's knowledge of attachment theory and how our early experiences shape the development of our brains (and in turn, impact our adult relationships) is fascinating. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There’s so much I could share about this book but three messages really stood out for me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The first was the story of Stuart, who came to therapy at the age of 92 and through the therapy process, transformed his understanding of himself and his relationship with his wife by learning how to 'feel'. It was a touching and beautiful story and a reminder that it’s never too late to change your brain.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The second was the discovery that we can make a significant difference in someone else’s life by making that person feel "felt". ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When we offer the gift of our presence and do our best to understand and acknowledge them just as they are, they feel as though they’ve been seen.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We do this most easily by slowing down for long enough to listen with undivided attention, by asking questions without offering advice and by keeping our focus on the other person, without interjecting with our own examples, so they feel that their experience really matters.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And finally, Dan suggests that the presence of a loving and caring adult (even if it's not a parent), can make a significant difference in the life of a child.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I wanted to share this for all of the friends, aunts, grandparents, carers and teachers who are making time to be with some else's child or teenager. Even when you're not getting immediate feedback that this is making a difference, know that you're helping to positively shape a brain – and a life – for the future. That's an incredible gift to be giving.
“True equanimity is a kind of balance in which you let the world come in, in which you engage with the world without fear.” Jack Kornfield⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s an elusive state, equanimity. I think of it as loosening the grip on anything I’m holding too tightly. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Whether it’s a belief, an assumption, a behaviour, an expectation or something in the material world, when we’re not experiencing equanimity, we often fear losing some sense of control. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Some people worry that holding your position more lightly might equate to “surrender”, but when that choice is made with a wider perspective, very often it’s the most liberating feeling in the world. ✨
“Sometimes people like me have to take conscious measures to step into the stillness and silence and be reminded of how it washes us clean, really.” Pico Iyer⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Thanks @saxonkent for the stunning image. #byronbayphotographer
© Kate James 2021

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