One of the most powerful ways to gain clarity about your career and life direction is to discover your values. Your values serve as your internal compass, guiding your decisions, shaping your behaviours, and helping you create a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling.
When we live in alignment with our values, we experience greater satisfaction, motivation, and resilience. Conversely, when our actions conflict with our core values, we may feel lost, frustrated and unfulfilled in life. By taking the time to discover your values, you empower yourself to make choices that bring greater satisfaction and a sense of purpose.
What exactly are values?
Before you begin listing your values, it’s important to understand what values are. You might describe them as your heart’s deepest desire about how you want to live your life. They can describe the person you want to be, the personal attributes you want to focus on or simply how you want to behave in your life.
The wonderful thing about values is that you can live in alignment with them while you’re on your way to achieving your goals. The outcome of the goal is less important when you feel that you’ve been true to your values along the way. Values give our everyday lives meaning and help us to be the best versions of ourselves, regardless of what we achieve.
1. Discover your values
Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed, and consider lighting a candle or playing your favourite music. You might even find it beneficial to listen to a guided meditation beforehand to clear your mind and tune in to your intuition.
You can choose any words you like as you discover your values but you might find it helpful to begin with some suggestions such as those included on Russ Harris’ values list. Russ is the author of The Happiness Trap, a book that describes how the mindfulness-based therapy, ACT can help you live in greater alignment with your values.
Take some time to browse a list of values and jot down the ones that stand out to you. It can be tempting to choose values that you think others would approve of or that will make you feel credible in some way. The most important aspect of this exercise is connecting with what really matters to you. Don’t overthink this step –trust your instincts and write down whatever feels most meaningful.
2. Mind map your values
Another option is to mind map your values. Grab a large sheet of paper and an assortment of coloured markers or pencils. Write the word ‘Values’ in the centre of your page and on each branch of your mind map, note your top ten values.
For each value on your mind map, add supporting words or phrases that describe how you can embody this value in daily life. For example, if you choose ‘Creativity,’ you might add words like ‘self-expression,’ ‘curiosity,’ and ‘artistic exploration.’ If ‘Kindness’ is one of your values, you might include ‘compassion,’ ‘generosity,’ ‘patience,’ and ‘understanding.’
This process helps to personalise your values and clarify what each of those values means to you. You might also find it helpful to journal about each value and describe how you want to incorporate it into your life.
3. Group your values
To make your values easier to remember and integrate into daily life, consider grouping your values into broader categories.
For instance:
- Connection might include kindness, respect, and fairness.
- Personal growth might include learning, creativity, and resilience.
- Wellbeing might include health, balance, and mindfulness.
- Contribution might include generosity, leadership, and service.
- Adventure might include exploration, excitement, and curiosity.
4. Are you living in alignment with your values?
Once you’ve refined your list of values, take a moment to reflect on how aligned your current life is with them. One way to do this is by rating each value on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being fully aligned and 1 being not aligned at all.
For example, if ‘Health’ is one of your values but you haven’t been prioritising exercise, self-care or nutrition, your rating might be lower. If ‘Compassion’ is one of your values and you regularly practice kindness and understanding, your score might be higher.
Rather than using this exercise to judge yourself, view it as an opportunity for self-awareness and an opportunity for growth and change. Recognising areas of misalignment allows you to take proactive steps toward living more authentically.
5. Live your values every day
Once your list or mind map is complete, choose at least one small action step you can take in the next few days that will help you align with one of the values you’d like to focus on. Here are a few examples:
- If ‘Gratitude’ is a core value, start a daily gratitude journal.
- If ‘Learning’ is important to you, sign up for a course or read a new book.
- If ‘Adventure’ resonates, plan a weekend hike or visit a new part of your city.
- If ‘Family’ is a top value, schedule meaningful time with loved ones.
Small, intentional actions build momentum and strengthen your commitment to living by your values but this is where most of us can become stuck. Despite our best intentions, life gets in the way and we lose sight of what matters. If you need support living by your values, reach out and chat to Kate about how coaching might help you.
6. Reviewing and refining your values
It’s likely that your values will evolve over time. To keep them relevant, put your list or mind map aside for a week and then return to it with fresh eyes. Ask yourself:
- Do these values still feel true to me?
- Are there words I’d like to add, remove, or tweak?
- Have recent life experiences shifted what’s most important to me?
By repeating this exercise regularly, you ensure that your values stay aligned with who you are and how you’re evolving.
Discovering your values is a deeply personal and transformative process. When you take the time to define what truly matters to you, you gain a powerful tool for making decisions, overcoming challenges, and living with authenticity.
