So many of the leadership coaching women I work with tell me that when they were young, they were praised for being good, nice, and well-behaved. This lines up with the research of Dr Carol Dweck, psychologist and author of the best-selling book Mindset. Dr Dweck’s research found that girls were often rewarded for getting things right and being compliant, while boys were more frequently encouraged to take risks, make mistakes, and keep trying.
Over time, this kind of praise shapes how we feel about ourselves and can leave us thinking that being accepted means being agreeable, that success means not failing, and that leadership roles are best suited to those who are better at managing conflict and pushing boundaries.
Susan Cain, author of Quiet, adds another layer. Her work reveals that introverted women, in particular, often feel invisible or underestimated in environments that prize charisma, speed, and extroversion. When their strengths – such as deep thinking, calm presence, or thoughtful listening – aren’t recognised as leadership qualities, they begin to doubt themselves or feel like they don’t quite belong.
It’s no wonder so many thoughtful, capable women hesitate to step into leadership roles. Not because they’re not ready, but because they’ve been taught to question their way of being.
Quiet confidence offers a new way forward – one that honours inner strength and purpose, and places true value on kindness, collaboration, and calm presence.
What is quiet confidence – and why does it matter in leadership?
Quiet confidence is not about being certain or unshakeable at all times. It’s the calm self-assurance that comes from knowing who you are, understanding what matters to you, and defining how you want to lead. It’s grounded, calm, and focused.
Women are often encouraged to “lean in,” speak up, and project strength at all costs. But for many of us – especially those who are more introverted, reflective, or sensitive – these strategies often feel unnatural, and they can be quite depleting.
Quiet confidence offers an alternative. It’s a style of leadership that honours your inner world, values your intuition, and allows you to lead with a more caring and collaborative approach.
I believe that right now, this is the kind of leadership our world needs – more than ever before.
Why traditional leadership advice often fails women
Much of the traditional leadership advice assumes that bolder is better.
We’re told to speak up more often, to take up space, to push through our discomfort, and overcome our weaknesses. While these tools can be helpful, they’re not the only path. For women who value depth, discernment, meaning, and connection, they can feel at odds with who we are.
This creates a painful dilemma:
To be successful, must I become someone I’m not?
To be taken seriously, do I need to harden or just hide?
The truth is, many women end up over-functioning in order to perform well in their roles – doing more, giving more, pushing themselves to be different – in order to feel that they belong in leadership. This isn’t sustainable, and it really isn’t necessary.
10 ways leadership coaching builds quiet confidence
Leadership coaching that supports quiet confidence doesn’t push you to be louder – it helps you become clearer about who you are, what you value, and how you lead best.
Here’s how:
- You learn to trust your instincts
Instead of second-guessing yourself, you start recognising the quiet, wise voice within and acting from that place of inner truth. - You clarify your values and your voice
You don’t need to say more, but you do need to say what matters. Coaching helps you get clear on what you stand for and how to express it with calm conviction. - You understand your purpose
Quiet confidence is anchored in meaning. Coaching helps you connect with a deeper sense of why you’re leading, which strengthens your resilience and motivation. - You grow your presence without burning out
It’s not about being the loudest or the busiest person in the room – it’s about being grounded and present. Coaching helps you prioritise what’s most important and stay centred while showing up fully. - You set boundaries with compassion
You learn to say no without guilt, and to lead with both strength and compassion – protecting your energy while remaining true to your values. - You build inner resilience, without armouring up
You learn how to bounce back without needing to become hard or closed. Sensitivity and vulnerability become strengths, not liabilities. - You play to your unique strengths
You don’t have to lead like anyone else. Coaching helps you recognise and value your natural gifts such as empathy, insight, calm decision-making, or big-picture thinking. - You’re willing to be courageous at times
Confidence isn’t the absence of fear – it’s the willingness to act with integrity, even when it feels uncomfortable. Coaching gives you the tools to do this bravely, wisely, and gently. - You lead in a way that feels like you
Ultimately, quiet confidence is about authenticity. Coaching supports you to lead in a way that feels aligned – not performative, pressured, or forced. - You stop seeking constant approval
You no longer rely on external validation to feel worthy. Coaching helps you build self-trust so you can lead from your inner compass, not from needing to be liked or praised.
Who quiet confidence is for
- Women who feel deeply, think carefully, and lead with heart
- Women who want to grow their leadership presence without becoming different versions of themselves
- Women who have felt “not good enough” in high-energy, performance-driven environments
- Women who are tired of the pressure to “fix themselves” and are ready to believe in themselves
If this sounds like you, know this:
You’re not too quiet.
You’re not too sensitive.
You’re not too much, or not enough.
You simply haven’t been offered a model of leadership that honours your natural way of being – until now.
Are you ready to lead from the inside out?
If you’re craving a new kind of leadership – one that honours your strengths, your sensitivity, and your desire to lead authentically – quiet confidence might be the missing piece.
My coaching supports women like you to lead with clarity, confidence and calm. If you’d like to explore this work, I would love you to help. Please feel free to book a complimentary intro call whenever it feels convenient.
