Lately, I’ve come to appreciate just how life-changing it can be to write your life stories. Some part of me knew this already because I have felt it whenever I’ve heard an anecdote shared by one of my clients. Their stories move me and make me feel immediately close to them.
Over the past few months, I’ve had the opportunity to write and share some of my own life stories in a small group setting, and I have discovered that the process is not only deeply healing but also profoundly empowering.
All of this came about after reading an article last year about the ‘life review’ process in The New York Times. I loved the sound of this and went in search of more information. To my delight, I discovered the work of Dr James Birren, founder of the Guided Autobiography (GAB) program, and I enrolled to become a facilitator of this work myself.
Dr Birren created the GAB program in the 1970s to help people reflect on their lives in a meaningful and structured way. Participants explore key life themes and write just two pages at a time, making the story writing process easy and enjoyable. Then those stories are shared within a small group, not to be critiqued but to help us recognise the value of our life experiences and to remind us of how meaningful it is to connect with others in such a real way.
Writing your life stories can boost your mood
Research has found that reflecting like this helps us to understand ourselves better, which can improve self-esteem and enhance psychological well-being. The process has been shown to boost resilience and reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. People often say they feel more at peace with their past, and more connected to others through the shared human experiences of love, loss, joy, regret, growth, and hope.
This has certainly been true for me.
Sharing your life story creates connection
In a world where we sometimes feel less connected to others, storytelling invites genuine connection. When someone listens to your story, they are not just hearing about a series of events; they are witnessing you and your life. That act of being seen and heard is incredibly validating. For the listener, too, the benefits are significant. We are reminded of our shared humanity, and we are often inspired to reflect on our own lives through a different lens.
You don’t need to be a writer
You don’t need to be a writer or have lived an extraordinary life to benefit from storytelling. Even the most ordinary lives are filled with moments of beauty, sorrow, discovery and growth. In my group, it was the everyday stories that resonated most because they are so real, relatable, and rich with meaning.
Try these tips to get started writing your life stories
- Begin by choosing a theme, such as ‘a turning point in your life’ or ‘a person who influenced you deeply.’
- Write for 15–20 minutes without worrying about grammar or structure. Just let the memories flow. You might be surprised by what surfaces.
- Let your words rest for a day or two. Reflect on how you framed your story while you’re in the shower, on transport or out walking.
- Come back to your story and shape it based on your reflections.
- Or if you prefer more guidance, join me for a free one-hour workshop where I’ll share some more information about how Guided Autobiography works.
