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VALUES EXERCISE

Download a simple values worksheet here and choose the most important ten values.

After you’ve chosen your values, make a note of how aligned you are with each of them using a scoring system of 1-10, with a score of 10 being the highest.

Then think about a few action steps you can take to become more closely aligned with the lower scoring values that are most important in your life right now.

 

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It’s not often in life that you meet a truly kindred spirit but that’s how it felt when I first met my dear friend and colleague, Catherine Morey-Nase over 12 years ago now. As time has gone on, we have continued to discover many shared interests and passions and maybe more importantly, we view the world in much the same way. We both value the virtue of kindness, we see sensitivity as a strength and we know the transformative effect of self-compassion. After hosting five retreats together, Catherine (who is a Melbourne based Clinical Psychologist) and I have decided to collaborate more often. Next year, we’ll be hosting a series of online workshops which we’ve called Compassionate Conversations. Our focus will be on helping you to: ✨ listen more closely to your heart ✨ live in alignment with your true values ✨ learn to be kinder to yourself ✨ pursue the life you really want, and ✨ to do all of these things gently. Our first workshop will be held on Saturday 18 January at 9am and we’ll be talking about approaching the new year with intention, rather than making New Year’s resolutions or goal setting. We’ll share teachings, our own insights and some wonderful resources. We would love to see you there. You’ll find a link to book in my bio.✨
This week, see if you can let go of the pressure you’ve been putting yourself under. The sense that you need to be striving. The desire to change something about yourself. Set your intention to be at peace with where you are right now so that you can really live in this moment. ✨
The theme last week with clients was a general feeling of overwhelm. Amidst the usual pressures that seem to come at this time of year there've been unexpected bills, sick children, leaky ceilings, workplace tensions and understandably, feelings of stress and anxiety. The best antidote to overwhelm is cultivating your capacity for equanimity, but that's not always easy when you're in the thick of it. The following few tips might help though. ✨ Step away from the chaos for ten minutes and breathe your way back to a sense of stillness. ✨ Choose just one thing to tackle first and put your efforts into that. ✨ Acknowledge that you’re at your capacity and say no to anything extra this week. ✨ Even if you feel you don’t have time, switch off your phone and sit down with a quiet cup of tea. ✨ Be brave enough to ask for support and be open about what you need. If you know someone who is overwhelmed right now, offer some practical help. Instead of saying, “let me know what I can do”, be specific about how you can assist. Offer to drop a meal in, collect children from school or lend a hand in the garden. Most overwhelmed people don’t know what they need so it is helpful to be proactive. And if you're in need of some immediate peace, join our beautiful, supportive community, live this morning on Insight Timer where we chat and meditate for around 30 minutes, starting at 9.30am. Everyone is welcome, beginners included. You'll find the link in my bio. 🙏
I have a handwritten copy of this quote on my desk with the added words: "This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination." A reminder that so often think we’ll be happy once things are different in some way. The invitation this week is to pause every now and then and let yourself soak in the beauty and complexity of any given moment. Even if it isn’t perfect, see if you can be at peace with it anyway. ✨
What an absolute privilege. 14 years of this place and as always, the most beautiful group of women. #byronbayretreat 🙏
“You are not the person you were five years ago. You evolve as your self-image does, so make sure that it’s an accurate one. Give yourself credit for everything you’ve overcome that you never thought you would, and everything you’ve built that you never thought you could. You’ve come so much farther than you think, and you’re so much closer than you realize.” Brianna Wiest These beautiful words from @briannawiest might inspire you to take your journal out this week. Write about all of the ways you've changed and grown over the past five (or so) years. Resist the temptation to think about what you still want to change and instead, simply acknowledge yourself for what you’ve achieved already. ✨
5 small things that will boost your self-esteem. 1. Instead of comparing yourself to others, notice all of the ways you are beautifully unique. 2. Remind yourself daily of your innate goodness. This is true for every one of us. 3. Dial down your self-critical thinking. This is easier said than done but once you start to notice the habit of self-criticism, you can move your thoughts in a different direction. 4. Say ‘no thanks’ or ‘I’m sorry I can’t do that’ without explanation. Boundary setting can be harder when we have low self-esteem but often we over-complicate it. Keep it simple but friendly. 5. Do one tiny thing that makes you feel brave. It’s the way to assure yourself that you have the commitment and the courage to change. ✨
Have you ever thought of hosting your own personal retreat? It's something I've done a few times now and I can't recommend it more highly. It's particularly helpful if you're feeling a little burnt out, if you want clarity about a decision or if you just need a bit of self-care. Here are a few simple steps to make your retreat a success. * Ideally, take yourself away from your home environment for at least three days and spend the time in a place where you have direct access to nature. * Set an intention for your retreat, for example, reconnecting with yourself, discovering your values or simply 'retreating', in the pure sense of the word. * Plan to be offline for the duration of your retreat. Let people know you'll be away and ahead of time, download any meditations, music, yoga classes etc so you can access them with your device on flight mode. * Pack everything that will make you feel nurtured. Nutritious food, herbal teas, your favourite books, comfy clothes, your own pillow, a cosy blanket, essential oils, your journal, sketchbook and anything else that will make your time beautiful. * Allow your days to unfold naturally. Wake at dawn and watch the sun rise. Meditate, breathe, sit in stillness, walk, swim, dance, practise yoga or qigong, journal, write poetry, eat mindfully. Listen to your body's rhythms rather than planning how you'll spend your time. * As the noise of the outside world falls away, turn your awareness within. Become more aware of your body. Connect more deeply with your breath. Tune into the emotions you’re feeling. Listen to your heart and trust your innate wisdom. * Before your retreat is over, reflect on everything you’ve become aware of. Think about how you can transition back gently. Allow time to reflect once you're home and do everything you can to hold onto the stillness you've created. ✨
A few minutes before taking this photo yesterday, I had a bit of a fright. While walking from the road to the beach (slowly, given my foot is still recovering), I had my first close encounter with an eastern brown snake. I rounded a corner and startled this beautiful creature as it lay across the path in the sun. We both reacted in a split second. As quickly as I leapt in the air, the snake reared off the ground and its head missed my ankle by just a few centimetres. My heart nearly leapt from my chest. Naively, I hadn't even considered snakes on that short sandy path but I really should have known better. They've been on this land forever and I was recently told that there are greater numbers this year as a result of the weather we've had. It was a timely warning to be a little more cautious. While walking alone on a narrow path, it can help to make a bit of noise. And if you’re hiking any distance, it's probably smart to wear boots. Once my heart had stopped pounding, I experienced the strangest feeling of awe. It's incredible how much fear sharpens your senses. I'm amazed at how high I leapt and so quickly and at the same time, surprised at how much detail I was able to absorb in such a brief moment. The glorious bronze of the scales, the little flecks of gold as the sun caught its back and those onyx black jewels of eyes. It really was the most magnificent creature. Still, I'm pleased that our encounter was brief. A minute after our shocked reaction, the snake slithered off into the bushes and I walked a little more quickly to the beach. Both of us a little shaken but grateful to go our separate ways. ✨
© Kate James 2024

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We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the lands we live and work on, the Boonwurrung people of the Kulin Nation and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.

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