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  • About
  • Coaching
    • Business Coaching
    • Leadership Coaching
    • Half-day coaching intensive
  • Workshops
    • Compassionate Conversations
    • Write Your Life Stories Workshops
    • The Confidence Course
    • Free Monday Talk & Meditation
  • Speaking
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    • Kate’s books
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Blog

Category: Leadership

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    • Quiet confidence: A new approach to leadership coaching for women

      So many of the leadership coaching women I work with tell me that when they were young, they were praised for being good, nice, and well-behaved. This lines up with the research of Dr Carol Dweck, psychologist and author of the best-selling book Mindset….

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    Posted in: Leadership
    The four hidden patterns of feeling not good enough

      If I could identify one consistent theme that impacts almost every one of my clients, it’s the feeling that no matter how much they do or what they achieve, they’re somehow still not good enough. Chances are this could be you too. You might…

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    Posted in: Business, Career, Leadership, Relationships, Self-belief

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    A few weeks ago, I shared a post about the hidden patterns that show up when we don’t feel good enough. Then last week, I wrote about how exploring our life stories can help us understand ourselves better and give our lives greater meaning.Quite by accident, I’ve just come across a piece of research that brings these two threads together and confirms something I’ve felt for a long time: writing our stories can be transformative.Each of us carries an inner narrative that explains who we are and what’s possible for us. But sometimes that story is skewed or outdated – especially when it tells you you’re not good enough. Rewriting your story isn’t about fixing or changing yourself. It’s about seeing yourself more clearly and holding your experience with greater truth, clarity and compassion.While working on a writing exercise for my Life Stories facilitator training, I stumbled across this old photo of my family. I was around seven years-old and we’d just moved back to Sydney. I was at a new school and hadn’t yet made friends. It was a pretty lonely time in many ways, but after writing, I came to see it very differently. It was when I learned to love spending long hours on my own. Immersing myself in novels, playing alone at the local playground, and learning to love the stillness of nature.Finding that photo helped me see that chapter of my life very differently. Not so much as a time of aloneness but rather, a time of discovery.That’s the power of writing our stories: it gives us the chance to look again and sometimes, to see ourselves and our lives in a completely different light.I've included a link to last week's article about some of the benefits of story writing in my bio. Have a read and try the tips I suggest to help you start writing your stories. ✨#narrativeself #writingtowellbeing #selfworth #womenwhocoach #confidencecoach #lifecoachmelbourne #mindfulleadership
    This week I’m sharing an excerpt from a wonderful poem by Andrea Gibson, titled ‘The Lifegiving Benefits of Befriending Our Mortality’. It’s a beautiful reminder to live more in the present moment. You’ll find the full piece on Andrea’s Substack (I’ve included a link below). ✨“But I did not meet this life until I met its brevity. Did not meet my voice until I knew every word could be my last. I did not know what prayer was until I started praying for what I already have. but this is what I know for certain–warming up to the idea of a promised tomorrow is the surest way to give today the cold shoulder. I whisper the words my therapist said years ago, The only thing we have control over in this life is where we put our attention.”Read the full piece here: https://open.substack.com/pub/andreagibson/p/benefits-of-befriending-our-mortality?r=2dpij&utm_medium=ios#livinginthemoment #mindfulliving #gratitude #slowdownandbreathe #hereandnow #groundedinpresence
    Do you have a place that brings you immediately to stillness?For me, it’s anywhere in nature, but my favourites are the top of a mountain or a place with a view of the sea.There’s something about a wide open sky or an endless horizon that feels completely grounding and calming.In those moments, I don’t need to achieve or fix or figure anything out. I can just be. I try to carry that same stillness into my workdays, but it’s not quite the same as being in one of those magical places.Where do you go to feel grounded? And more importantly, do you make time to be there? It’s an effort sometimes but always truly worth it. Maybe something you can plan this week. ✨#stillnesswithin #natureheals #findingcalm #momentsofstillness #innerpeace #slowliving #mindfulpause #totalbalance
    Lately, I’ve been exploring the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) ways our “not good enough” stories show up in daily life.As well as causing an overly active inner critic, they can appear as perfectionism, procrastination, overworking, people-pleasing, self-sabotage and comparing ourselves to others.These patterns, and the behaviours that accompany them, often feel completely normal. Sometimes they seem helpful or even protective. But underneath, there’s a subtle or even subconscious belief: “I’m not enough as I am.” Most of us fall into several of these habits from time to time, but you might notice that one or two are your familiar defaults when self-doubt creeps in.This week, see if you can catch yourself if you're over-functioning or feeling stuck. Pause. Take a breath. And choose just one small step that leads you in a different direction. ✨#youareenough #quietconfidence #selfworthjourney #buildingconfidence #notgoodenough
    After some time away, I’m finally returning to this space. I have missed connecting with you here.I’ve been navigating an autoimmune condition which surprisingly, has turned out to be as much of a gift as a challenge.It has made me really slow down and focus on my wellbeing. Like many of us, I’ve had a tendency to overcommit – which is probably why I’ve been teaching mindfulness all these years: as much as a reminder to myself as a gift to those I teach.I’ve spent time reflecting on why we do these things, which has inspired plenty of research, a whole lot of writing and insights that have been helpful for me and I hope for you too as I share them.While I’ve been dealing with this small health issue, the world is also having its own kind of reckoning, and both of these things have given me a reason to pause and consider what really matters.Here’s what I’ve been making time for:✨ Slower mornings, always with time to meditate and walk in nature.✨ Deepening my connection with creativity. I’ve just finished training as a facilitator in writing our life stories. I’ll share more about this soon.✨ More time for journalling and writing.✨ Moving more slowly and gently. I know this sounds like such a small thing, but since becoming a mother over three decades ago, I have had a tendency to rush through my life. ✨ Being aware of my need to rest, which means setting healthier boundaries.✨ Deepening my connection with meditation which has meant writing and recording some new tracks. I’ll share these on Insight Timer in the coming months.✨ Taking the pressure off myself socially, but making time to do restorative, gentle things with dear friends and family.I definitely don’t have it all figured out yet but I am listening more carefully to what matters – and for now, letting that be enough.If you’re on a similar path of slowing down, healing and reprioritising, I’d love to hear how you’re travelling. What have you found most helpful? ✨#autoimmunehealing #slowliving #mindfullife #womenandwellbeing #meditationpractice #creativehealing #natureheals #writingtoheal #insighttimer #lifeinbalance #cradlemountain📷 by @chrisjamesphotos ❤️
    Uncertainty has been a consistent theme in my life at the moment. With clients, friends, family and even for me at a personal level.I feel hugely grateful for mindfulness practices during times like these and I’ve also found the following five steps to be helpful.1. Find pockets of certainty, wherever you canTidy the house, sort your finances, clean out your wardrobe, organise your paperwork, plan your meals for a week. Making the small things around you feel ordered and beautiful will help you to feel a little more at peace.2. Appreciate the things that make your life beautifulOne of the things I became aware of while we were on holiday in Tassie was how much natural beauty was around us every day. Try engaging your sense of gratitude with every meal you eat, every friendly encounter, every interaction with nature and every opportunity you have to experience or engage in creativity.3. Make time for practices that are genuinely soothingIf meditation isn’t your thing (and it isn’t for many people), try a different form of mindful relaxation. On a recent Insight Timer Live we explored this topic together and came up with dancing, singing, reading, walking, yoga, pilates, gardening, playing, sketching, painting, skiing, paddle boarding, surfing. The most important thing is that you make time for whatever it is that brings you some calm. 4. Acknowledge your feelings and offer yourself compassionMake room for all of the emotions – the fear, anxiety, worry, sadness, anger, frustration and powerlessness. Notice where you feel those emotions in your body and offer yourself genuine compassion.5. Make peace with uncertainty, as best you canWe won’t feel uncertainty every day but it’s likely that we’ll experience it often in our lives and we’ll probably always find it difficult. Remind yourself that nothing will stay the same forever and you’re strong enough to handle this. ✨
    “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Nelson Mandela ✨
    A follow on from last week’s post about aspiring to simplicity. I’m on holiday in Tasmania where I was lucky enough to live for ten years. Yesterday, as we drove through the countryside, I was struck by a lovely memory. At around the age of 12, I spotted many abandoned little cottages, very much like this one. I knew at the time that the simple beauty was all that I would ever want and need in my lifetime. A humble home surrounded by plenty of nature. I had a picture of myself planting a garden, reading by the fire, writing at a little wooden desk and baking in an old fashioned kitchen. Maybe one day having my own children and sharing my love of nature with them. Almost 50 years later, it’s still all of these things that fill me with joy and give my life meaning. I think most of us knew ourselves well at that age yet often, we lost trust in what we believed in and started shaping ourselves to please other people. Can you remember what it was you dreamed of? ✨
    An invitation to go a little more gently this week. To let go of some of your striving. To notice the things that you already have. And to make sure that you really do treasure them. ✨💛
    © Kate James 2025

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