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BUILD SELF-BELIEF & FIND YOUR DIRECTION

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5 things to try when you feel directionless1. Spend ten minutes each morning journalling with the prompt, “What I want most is...”. Keep your pen on the page and just let the words flow. Don’t limit your thoughts or ideas in any way. 2. Tune into your heart and trust that you really do know what you want. So often we forget to do this and we try to think our way out of confusion, rather than trusting our feelings. 3. Make a list of all of the limiting beliefs, the commitments and pressures and the advice of others that stop you from being who you most want to be. 4. Remind yourself that this is your ‘one wild and precious life’ and in order to avoid regret, you need to make time for the things that you love. It is never too late to do something new or to find the courage to change your life.5. The single most important thing you can do to create change is to take small steps in the direction of your dreams. What’s one thing you will do this week? ✨
I’ve spoken before about themes in my work and lately, there has been a weariness in some clients and in others, even a bit of exhaustion. Which reminded me to write about how we manage our energy levels. The first step is to notice how you really feel and next, tune into what energies or drains you. Here’s a simple way to explore this. Each morning this week, notice your energy levels (mental, emotional and physical). Intuitively rate your overall energy on a scale from 1-10 (with 10 being the highest score). The key here is not to overthink this and importantly, not to judge yourself. Just observe how you begin your day. Next, pay attention to how the different activities and interactions you engage in impact your energy. Does the number move up or go down?This is one of the easiest ways to determine what you need more of (or less of) in your life. If you’re anything like me, time in wide open spaces will lift that score. Meditation, walking, swimming, yoga, being creative, deep conversations, a home cooked meal, laughter, spending time with your pets and being in the company of people you love will boost it too. At the opposite end of the spectrum are all of the things that deplete us. For me it’s too much time on my laptop or phone, taking in too many news stories, really noisy environments, too many tasks on my ‘to do’ list, hearing someone speak badly of another person or witnessing any kind of injustice. The key to maintaining your energy levels is to balance the draining activities with those that restore you. And the beginning point, is awareness. Maybe you’re already in tune with where you’re most energised or depleted? ✨
After recently writing about the benefits of long-term planning, last week I spent an afternoon updating my vision. It’s always a lovely reminder about what matters most in my life. While I want to keep prioritising my work, walks in nature, creativity and meditation, right now my main focus is relationships. Often we think that finding time for the people we love will just happen, but sometimes day-to-day life gets in the way.While it might sound contrived or even unnecessary, I’ve come to believe that scheduling time with our closest friends and loved ones is important. So here's a thought for this week. Choose the five most important relationships in your life and put time in your calendar to do something you enjoy with each of those people. Don’t wait until you can manage a special date night or a weekend away – a regular walk or coffee can be just as meaningful to keep you connected.When you're with that person, give them your undivided attention. Be generous in your assumptions of them, forgive any flaws and be curious about how they are doing. Be patient, kind and compassionate. Hold back on offering unsolicited advice and instead, listen well, ask lots of questions and make them feel heard, understood and validated.These are small things that I sometimes forget myself but when I do remember, they help create a deeper connection.✨
After sharing memories of my love of the sea a few weeks ago, I recently discovered research about the healing effects of being near water. Of course we know this anecdotally, but it’s helpful to be reminded that even just a couple of minutes viewing a river, lake or the ocean lowers your blood pressure and decreases your heart rate. Being near water is good for your nervous system, incredibly calming for your mind and nourishing for every aspect of your wellbeing. See if you can find your way to your favourite lake, river, waterfall or beach this week and once you’re there, make an effort to stop for at least five minutes to take in all of that beauty. Let the healing element of water wash over you, metaphorically at least, and notice how much it transforms you. ✨
Over the weekend while I was tidying my office, I stumbled across a ten-year-plan I had written in 2014 and it was pretty incredible to read.There were a couple of things I hadn’t achieved but for the most part, it was an uncannily accurate description of the life we are living right now. Right down to the sunny little room that I work in, overlooking our veggie garden, fruit trees and chickens.Before I started my business, I had never been much of a planner. For the most part, I just enjoyed going with the flow. But as I began to hear stories from clients who had created a vision for the future, I thought I’d give it a try.It is one of the life changes, alongside learning to meditate, that had the biggest impact on me and something I now recommend to all clients.If you’ve never tried it before, I’ll share detailed steps in this week’s newsletter, but you can also make a start on your own.Choose a time frame such as five or ten years and start writing about your dream life, covering as many areas as possible. Include where you’ll be living, the important relationships in your life, how you’ll spend your days and take care of your health and make a note of your creative and spiritual interests and any community work etc.Importantly, allow yourself to dream big rather than simply writing about what you believe to be possible.After you’ve done this, you might find it helpful to create a visual representation of your dream life (this was my favourite part of the exercise) and then the next step is to engage with your vision often.Use it as a guide to create clear goals and from those goals, map out some small, manageable actions.These steps might sound pretty rudimentary but they really can be the beginning point of creating significant change in your life. ✨
Do you have a place that has transformed or healed you? One near the top of my list (although it’s hard to choose a favourite) is Wilson’s Prom. The wild and untouched beauty never ceases to amaze me but it’s the healing energy I’m most drawn to. Other places that evoke the same feelings are the national parks and ocean beaches of Tasmania, the mountains in the Victorian High Country, the property in Byron Bay where I run my retreat and the beaches and bush near where I live on the Mornington Peninsula. But it’s another place that I visited just once that somehow completely transformed me.It was the wet season when I travelled to Ubirr in Kakadu National Park but that day, there was a reprieve from the rain and the sky was clear. From the lookout, the lush green Nadab Floodplain stretched as far as the eye could see. In the late afternoon light, a single eagle appeared and made wide, rhythmic circles right in front of me. As I watched its movement, the whole world seemed to slow down and become silent, still and expansive.I thought about the indigenous people who have inhabited that land for over sixty thousand years and in that moment, became profoundly aware of my own insignificance in the grand scheme of things. That was almost twenty years ago now but if I close my eyes, I can recall that scene like it was yesterday and I’m reminded of all the same feelings. Have you had an experience where a single moment in a beautiful place shifted the way you see things?✨A note of thanks to my dear friend Karen for the conversation that inspired this post and to Ingrid @ingridhuitema77 for making the NT trip both possible and incredible.
“I get so lostin where I want to goI forget that the place I’m inis already quite magical.”Rupi Kaur ✨
“You hold in your hand an invitation: to remember the transforming power of forgiveness and loving kindness. To remember that no matter where you are and what you face, within your heart peace is possible.” Jack Kornfield ✨Join me this morning at 9.30am (AEST) to meditate on finding inner peace. Live on @insighttimer. I’ve included the link in my bio. 🙏
Every week I have conversations with clients about what makes life meaningful and so often, it comes down to the small things.You don’t need a lofty life purpose to live a meaningful life - you just need to lean into who you are, do more of what you love and use your innate gifts to connect with and contribute to others. Try exploring the following five steps to create more meaning in your life:1. Start being the most real version of yourself in every setting, regardless of what others think of you.2. Remember the things you love doing and do more of those things every day.3. Consider how you want to leave people feeling after they’ve interacted with you.4. Step away from your busy life to think about the big picture.5. Choose a cause you care about and do something small to contribute each week. ✨
© Kate James 2024

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We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the lands we live and work on, the Boonwurrung people of the Kulin Nation and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.

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