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  • About
  • Coaching
    • Life coaching
    • Business Coaching
    • Leadership Coaching
    • Half-day coaching intensive
  • Workshops
    • Compassionate Conversations
    • Write Your Life Stories Workshops
    • The Confidence Course
    • Free Monday Talk & Meditation
  • Speaking
  • Retreat
  • Resources
    • Kate’s books
  • Blog
  • Contact
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Blog

Blog

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  • Breaking the cycle of overfunctioning

    How to start doing less and trusting it’s enough I’ve had so many lovely responses to my recent article about overfunctioning, with many people asking the question: what can we do about this? In today’s article, we’re going to explore how to break the cycle of…

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    Posted in: Self-belief
    12 ways ‘not good enough’ shows up in our lives

      When I first wrote about the signs of ‘not feeling good enough’, I focused on four of the most common ways this difficult belief tends to surface, particularly when we’re stressed — overfunctioning, avoidance and numbing, procrastination and paralysis, and people-pleasing. In this article,…

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    Posted in: Life, Self-belief
    Why we overfunction (and why it’s so hard to change)

    Understanding the origins of overfunctioning If you recognised yourself in my last post about overfunctioning, you’re not alone. I had a huge response to this article which tells me that you are I are not alone. What I find interesting, is that once you realise…

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    Posted in: Leadership, Life, Self-belief
    5 signs you might be overfunctioning

      Overfunctioning is one of the four hidden patterns I wrote about recently that often arise when we don’t feel good enough. The other three – avoidance, paralysis and people-pleasing – are also common, but out of all of these patterns, overfunctioning is the one…

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    Posted in: Leadership, Life, Self-belief
    When you don’t feel good enough: the four hidden patterns that keep you stuck

    How overfunctioning, avoidance, paralysis and people-pleasing all stem from the same core belief — and what happens when you begin to let it go. If I could identify one theme that impacts almost every one of my clients, it’s the feeling that no matter how…

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    Posted in: Business, Leadership, Self-belief
    Write your life stories and discover yourself

      Lately, I’ve come to appreciate just how life-changing it can be to write your life stories. Some part of me knew this already because I have felt it whenever I’ve heard an anecdote shared by one of my clients. Their stories move me and…

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    Posted in: Life
    Quiet confidence: A new approach to leadership coaching for women

      So many of the leadership coaching women I work with tell me that when they were young, they were praised for being good, nice, and well-behaved. This lines up with the research of Dr Carol Dweck, psychologist and author of the best-selling book Mindset….

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    Posted in: Leadership
    Starting a business as a sensitive woman

      If you’re dreaming of starting your own business or side-project, or you’ve already taken the leap and you consider yourself to be sensitive or introverted, it’s completely normal to feel unsure or overwhelmed at times. Especially when you’re doing it on your own. Most…

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    Posted in: Business
    How to discover your values

    One of the most powerful ways to gain clarity about your career and life direction is to discover your values. Your values serve as your internal compass, guiding your decisions, shaping your behaviours, and helping you create a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling. When…

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    Posted in: Life
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    I've just finished listening to the audio version of Jacinda Ardern's book, A Different Kind of Power. What a beautiful book – and what a beautiful woman.For decades, I've looked for role models to show me how to be both a mother and a businesswoman, and I've struggled to find someone I can truly relate to. Until I heard Jacinda's story.As she writes in one of the final chapters, when asked about what it means to be a leader:“If you have impostor syndrome, or question yourself, channel that. It will help you. You will read more, seek out advice, and humble yourself to situations that require humility to be conquered. If you’re anxious, and overthink everything, if you can imagine the worst-case scenario always, channel that too. It will mean you are ready when the most challenging days arrive. And if you are thin-skinned and sensitive, if criticism cuts you in two, that is not weakness; it’s empathy. In fact, all of the traits that you believe are your flaws will come to be your strengths. The things you thought would cripple you will in fact make you stronger, make you better. They will give you a different kind of power, and make you a leader that this world, with all its turmoil, might just need.”This book is a brilliant read. I highly recommend it. Thank you @jacindaardern for sharing your story with such warmth, humility and kindness. ✨Image: @penguinbooksnz#jacindaardern #adifferentkindofpower #leadership #empathy #womeninleadership #kindness #audiobookrecommendation #personalgrowth #mindfulleadership #inspiringwomen
    After writing the first article about overfunctioning, so many women have reached out to say, ‘this is me’ and ‘what can I do about it?’.Later this week, I’ll be sharing an article about breaking the cycle of overfunctioning, but first, I thought it might be helpful to remember why we do this and why it can be such a hard pattern to break.Scroll through the carousel for quick tips, or read the full article (the link’s in my bio). And keep an eye out for the new article later this week where I’ll share more about doing things differently.This is something I’m working on myself, and I have to say that even with awareness, I don't find it easy. Those long-held habits can be hard to shift but when I can catch myself and go a little more gently, it makes the world of difference to how I'm feeling. ✨#overfunctioning #personaldevelopment #mindfulcoaching #selfkindness #selfawareness #wellbeingjourney #womenwhothinkdeeply #innergrowth #mindfulnessmatters #doinglessfeelingmore #confidencecoachmelbourne
    When I was taught to meditate, over thirty years ago now, the advice was very rigid. You had to practice twenty minutes, twice a day or you might as well forget it. For so many people who learned, this ended up being off-putting and often not realistic.These days, there are so many different approaches and it's much more flexible – which is exactly what we need.Almost everyone I work with is short of time, but they're still keen to be mindful. And the reality is, you can achieve this even in just a few minutes.In its simplest form, mindfulness is really about two things – paying attention and non-judgement. When you start there, you realise you can practice in so many small ways and the impact can still be incredible.You don't need to head off on retreat (although it is pretty amazing) or block out huge amounts of time to simply tune in and pay attention.Try one or more of these small pauses today:▫️ Drink your tea, coffee or water with your full attention. Slow it right down and notice what you taste, smell and feel – bringing a sense of appreciation.▫️ Take five long, slow breaths. Pay attention to extending your out-breath to engage your parasympathetic nervous system.▫️ Before you send an email or make a call, pause and think about your intention. What matters most in this interaction?▫️ When you're at your computer or using your phone, notice your breathing. It often becomes more shallow (or we hold our breath without realising).Small moments of mindfulness really do make a difference. A few simple pauses through your day can bring you back to calm, clarity and presence. 🙏#mindfulness #presence #selfawareness #mindfulliving #mindfulnessretreat
    I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries lately, mostly after chatting with my wise and insightful daughter, Meg and my wonderful colleague, Catherine. Both of these women know all about setting healthy boundaries. I still find it difficult at times, even though I'm aware how deeply this affects the way that I feel.Healthy boundaries aren’t walls that keep people out. They’re more like an inner framework that helps us stay true to ourselves while staying open to others.When our boundaries are clear and flexible, we can be giving and loving, and we can listen without feeling drained or resentful. When they’re blurred, we can feel overextended, irritable, and even anxious, not because others are asking too much of us, but because we’re not honouring our own limits and needs.If you’re wondering whether your boundaries are healthy, reflect on these questions this week. If you find yourself answering 'yes' to several, consider where you can be a little more true to yourself.✨ Do I say yes when I really mean no?✨ Do I feel guilty when I take time for myself?✨ Do I often feel responsible for other people’s feelings?✨ Do I worry about expressing my own needs and preferences?✨ After spending time with certain people, do I feel somewhat depleted?Healthy boundaries come from a place of self-respect. They’re not about shutting the world out, but about creating the conditions where connection feels safe, sustainable and uplifting.Like anything, our boundaries need care and attention. They can shift as we grow and change. They can strengthen as our self-respect deepens.Working on your boundaries isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about noticing when you feel out of balance, pausing to listen, and making small, honest adjustments that bring you back into alignment. 💛#leadershipgrowth #healthyboundaries #womeninleadership #personaldevelopment #emotionalintelligence #mindfulleadership #selfawareness #confidentleaders
    Yesterday I stumbled across some photos from the launch of my first book, Believe in Yourself & Do What You Love, held just over a decade ago. I’d forgotten how magical it was – the celebration of a lifelong dream to become a published author.It got me thinking about how so many of us, introverts in particular, rarely reflect on our best moments. The strength of humility is wonderful, but we can overuse it at times.As I flicked through the photos I remembered the joy of that night and how meaningful it was to share it with so many of my favourite people.So here’s an invitation for you this week. Scroll through old photos, glance back at your CV or spend some time reflecting and see if you can recall a moment you feel genuinely proud of (it doesn't need to be a big thing). And then, rather than keeping it private, share it with someone you trust. Let them know how it felt and allow yourself to re-celebrate. If it feels right, you might even share it more widely – perhaps in a post of your own.A big thank you to everyone who joined me on that fabulous night including my beautiful Meg, @ramaekerskaren, @enaproducts, @thewellbeingcorner, @lbeavan, @sarah.rudledge, @denu_australia, @lizzycphoto, @thegaleriefitzroy and many others I don't have photos of including @naids, @mindfulinmay, @ofkin, @christinaredlich, @louise_weigall, @linda.salo, @simbeever, @theholisticingredient, @corporatechillout, and anyone else I have missed. Special thanks to the gorgeous Sarah from @babylonflowers for making the tables look so stunning and to Emma Murray for the great photos. 🌸#reflection #celebrateyourself #introvertstrengths #joyfulmoments #selfkindness #confidencecoach #womenwhowrite #lifecoachmelbourne #believeinyourself
    I’ve been exploring the theme of ‘not good enough’ for a while now, and the more I research, the more I see how deeply it touches every aspect of our lives. It doesn’t just shape the way we see ourselves – it influences our career, health, relationships, friendships, even the way we handle money.I’ll share more on my latest findings in next week’s article but for now, I want to leave you with this beautiful reminder from Hafiz.If you’re doubting yourself, comparing yourself to others, or feeling like you’re falling short in some way, keep these words close this week and remind yourself that you are valuable, loveable, and entirely unique – not because of what you have, how you look or what you achieve, but simply for being yourself. ✨#selfworth #selfkindness #innerlight #confidencecoach #healingjourney #mindsetmatters #notgoodenough #selfacceptance #gentlegrowth #personaldevelopment
    I've had so many lovely responses to my recent articles about the four patterns of not feeling good enough and the signs of overfunctioning. It seems that this one is a common pattern for many of us.This week, I've written about why we overfunction and why it can be difficult to change –even when we know we're doing it. These behaviours often feel hard-wired into our being.If this sounds familiar, you might like to read my latest piece (links to all three articles are in my bio). I share the hidden pay-offs and the costs we often overlook, along with journal prompts to help you explore how and why overfunctioning might be showing up in your life.Over the coming weeks, I’ll write about how to transform overfunctioning, as well as exploring the other patterns of avoidance, procrastination and people-pleasing.#overfunctioning #selfdoubt #confidenceforwomen #notgoodenough #journalling #personaldevelopment #womenandwork
    Just over a month ago, Chris and I had to move out of our house while it was being repaired from flood damage, so we decided to take a little road trip. We drove across to Mallacoota, up the south coast of NSW, across to Canberra, and back down through the mountains.Usually, in the middle of winter, if we were planning a trip we’d head somewhere warm. This time, we chose the opposite and it turned out to be one of the most beautiful holidays we’ve had.I think it helped that we stopped in so many places where we could immerse ourselves in nature, but I’m also aware that we expected very little. It was a simple trip with lots of home cooking, slow days, and finding delight in small things. When the days were sunny, we were grateful; when it turned cold, we were ready for it.It has me reflecting on how good it feels to do things differently, to challenge the ways we get set in our thinking. Because we loved this trip so much, I came home planning to repeat the same route next year. Then I realised I was missing the point – what made it special wasn’t the path we took, but all the things that were so unexpected.Sometimes real magic unfolds when we change our habits, let go of expectations, and allow ourselves to be a little more adventurous.An invitation for this week: where could you be more curious or open, or let go of one of your usual patterns? ✨📷 @chrisjamesphotos#innercalm #quietconfidence #mindfulleadership #wellbeingjourney #authenticliving #gentlewisdom #selfacceptance #findingpeace #womenempowerment #innerstrength #emotionalwellbeing
    “In an age of speed, I began to think, nothing could be more invigorating than going slow. In an age of distraction, nothing can feel more luxurious than paying attention. And in an age of constant movement, nothing is more urgent than sitting still.” Pico IyerWise and beautiful words from one of my favourite writers.Even in the midst of a busy week, maybe this could be your focus? ✨#slowliving #mindfulmoments #simplewisdom #beingpresent #quietmind #innercalm #thoughtfulquotes #picoiyer #intentionaldays #findingstillness
    © Kate James 2025

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